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E.L.I.O.
the artist formerly known as
ELIO E LE STORIE TESE
* L'Eterna Lotta Tra il Bene e Il Male
* Pipppero (Pipppero)
* First me, second me (First me, second me)
* Darling I love you (Cara ti amo)
* Homosexuality (Omosessualita')
* Puppet on a swing (Burattino senza fili)
* John Holmes
* Puniest of slaves (Servi della gleba)
* T.V.U.M.D.B. (T.V.U.M.D.B.)
* The state of A, the state of B (Lo stato A, lo stato B)
* My cousin (Mio cuggino)
* Rutinario (Abitudinario)
* El Pube (El Pube)
* The land of the date plums (La terra dei cachi)
E.L.I.O.
The Artists Formerly Known As
ELIO E LE STORIE TESE
L'ETERNA LOTTA TRA IL BENE E IL MALE
Eat the right combination of italian food:
spaghetti bolonnaise
capuccino bolonnaise
pizza napoli paesa'
pizza with spaghetti
drink salted water
parmisan cheese in the air
capuccino
spaghetti with capuccino
espresso
espresso with vinegar
bread with lasagna in it
gnocchi filled with motoroil
don't put meatbolls in espresso
the table is on the table
bread is very good
but don't fill it with lasagna
gnocchi in the nose
bread filled with bread
sfilatino italiano
pizza bolonnaise
gnocchi with lasagna
spaghetti western
espresso on top of lasagna
choose the right combination
garlic
garlic with italian icecream
italian icecream
italian icecream with tuna
tuna
tuna with honey
red wine
red wine with tuna
the table is on the table
the cat is it in garlic
the garlic is on the cat
salami
salami in the capuccino
espresso
espresso with garlic
garlic
vinegar with vinegar
garlic in the garlic
the garlic is on the table
vinegar with pizza
vinegar
table is on the italian icecream
Sdreveide!
Nismese gotchetene bolghers chetegossuve!
Pretzdavimivi Elio e le Storie Tese
Ha ha ha ha, thank you.
Thank you to the Bulgarian State Radio
and Television Female Choir,
who finally brought us a state of the art balcanic dance,
more human, more true - piu' umano piu' vero
A sincere dance - E' un ballo sincero
Eh, sure given the international situation
we had to promise them "Ramaya" (which was a big hit),
but my friends I assure you it was worth it.
IT WAS WORTH IT! Do you understand ?
Hooray for Italia, hooray for Bulgaria
who gave us the gift of the PIPPPERO;
let's circle our fingers and connect falanges,
that's the dance called PIPPPERO;
friends in the Bulgarian Secret Service,
don't shoot at the Pope anymore,
but dedicate yourselves to the PIPPPERO.
Bulgarian people, Italian people,
Bulgarian and Italian Secret Services, let's go.
Listen how the PIPPPERO pumps...
IT'S "ROTATE YOUR FINGERS" TIME
IT'S "PUT YOUR FALANGES TOGETHER" TIME
Very good, let me teach you some Italian.
Repeat after me:
Piu' umano piu' vero Piu' umano piu' vero
E' un balo straniero E' un ballo straniero
Qui l'atmosfera sa di Pipppero
Qui l'atmosfera sa di Pipppero
Se in discuteca balli u Pippperu Pipppero
Se in discuteca balli u Pippperu Pipppero
Very good, now only:
Piu' umano, piu' vero. E' un ballo sincero.
E la tua estate sa di PIPPPERO - Ah, cazzo, very good -
non senti come pompa il PIPPPERO
pump up pump up pump up pump up:
good God, pump up the PIPPPERO
Piu' umano, piu' vero. E' un ballo sincero.
Piu' umano, piu' veeeeeeeerooooo
Are you rotating your fingers ?
Are you connecting your falanges ?
Are you making friends with people whose skin
is a different color than yours ?
Good for you! Now it's time to sing out loud
"Ramaya, Ramaya, Ramaya, Rarra"
Il PIPPPERO is a dance that you and I can do
With a pizza pie up in the sky
And love is there if you sing: "Amore"
Stallion am I, Balcanian you
We can make love because I'm stallion
I do it better with mozzarella
You sing "Mamma mia", and we'll eat "Spaghetti"
Hahahaha, Bulgaria State Television Choir,
why don't you take a look to the records I have here:
I can give you "Kung Fu Fighting" by Carl Douglas
Gnackishgna.
Do you want "Fly Robin Fly" ?
Aren't you interested in that ?
Gnackishgna.
"Ali Shuffle" ? No ? Gnackishgna.
"Disco Inferno" ? Come on ?
Gnackishgna.
Something by the Carpenters ?
Gnackishgna.
Boney M, like "Ma Baker" Gna "Daddy Cool", "Rasputin"
Gnackishgna.
"Gimme some" ? Gnackishgna.
Something by Immagination, by Plastinc Bertrand
"Ping Pong", "Hula Hoop" ?
How about "Cuba" by the Gibson Brothers,
come on Bulgarian State Television Choir.
FIRST ME, SECOND ME (FIRST ME, SECOND ME)
First me. I would like to writing and singing a song in english,
tongue that I've studied at the medium school.
I'd surely find the way to recreate the original sound
of the wonderful Beatles english.
I would pick up a girl and
- thank you to the original sound of the wonderful Beatles english -
I would conquer her,
I would marry her and together we will farrow so many much childs.
So we would live until the late age (her),
while I would never die just like Highlander;
but not like Sean Connery, better like Christopher Lambert:
young through the centuries but without cut the head.
So every night I dream my unrealizable, unreasonable, unrecognizable,
unjamestaylorable, unstatesmanlike dream come true.
Second me (the peak of the mountain).
How you call you? How many years you have?
From where come? How stay?
Not to be sad:
the life is a thing wonderful and I am here for make it wonderfuler.
Not see the my love for yourself?
For force, not is visible.
Not hear the sound of the my guitar?
Is play from me; is play for you, is play for we.
Oui, je t'aime, je t'aime - yes -, must to be the my girl;
come on the my car that I bring you at make one tour.
What think of the my car?
Is much beautiful, second me.
(intermezzo)
E: hhmmm, Tanica...
T: yes, hello
E: Tanica...
T: Hi, hi boss!
E: How are you?
T: Well
E: How do you do?
T: Well
E: No! How do you do?
T: I do well
E: No!
T: No!
E: No! How do you do? How do you do?
T: How do you do?
E: How do you do?
T: And you?
E: And you?
T: Ok
E: Ok. Allora, Tanica... you know that we have composed a very beautiful song...
T: Yes!
E: ...intitled "Psychological factors in the relationships..."
T: Ah, Psychological!
E: "...between young men and young women"
T: Yes. (canticchiando) Psycological faactoors...
E: I mean... I mean.. I mean... You know that these young women spend their time trapping
young men...
T: Yes...
E: Winking at them...
T: Yes...
E: Dancing to house music...
T: Ahah!
E: Or techno music or Rotterdam music...
T: Bloody girl!
E: All this kind of things... and while they dance these young men are drawn into their
praying mantis-like traps
T: yes yes yes
E: You know that these poor young men like black birds with no feathers, but plenty of
hair, they are attracted...
T: Of course... That's life... It's like a metaphor of life
E: And so... and so, why don't we sing this song...
T: Uh!
E: Psychological factors in the relationships between young men and young women
T: You mean...
E: And why...
T: ...more...more "dend", ahem, than what we did in the past we do it again now?
E: Yes
T: Oh, Ok!
E: Yes, in english, to the english people...
T: (fischi d'approvazione) fiuuu, fiuuu
E: And why don't you recite the role of the young man?
T: Ok!
E: Whilst I on the other hand play the part of the young slut
T: Ah! I think that's the best idea we could have in years and years...
E: Ok, then let's do it
T: Ok
....parte la "pizza pie song"
(fine intermezzo)
DARLING I LOVE YOU (CARA TI AMO)
(Psichological factors in the relationship between young men and young
women)
Io ho 23 anniNanana nana oh yes I like that pizza pie song
oh mamma mia hahaha haha all this pizza pie all over the
studio stop it please eat spaghetti with mozzarella
spaghetty bolonnaise
We used to be engaged but then you left me without giving
any plausible explanation
No, it's not true you just don't understand the female
universe my extreme sensitivity is the opposite of your
Italian stallion materialism
Nevertheless.....
Darling I love you - I'm feeling quite confused
Darling I love you - I need to be alone
Darling I love you - I've just broken up with a guy after
three years
Darling I love you - I don't want to feel tied down
Darling I love you ......
Ok, let's eat some pizza pie, come on
Stay home - I want to be free
Go out with whoever you like -
You never care about what I do
I'd like to squeeze your tits - You pig
I'd never touch you not even with a flower - You Homo
I take drugs, and blaspheme, and I hit children and ignore
you - I love you bastard
I work my ass off 14 hours a day to support you
and I listen to you
I'm leaving you for a junkie who does nothing all day,
who blasphemes and hits children and ignores
evething else me included, my pizza pie
I'll put on a rubber - I feel maternal
I feel paternal - Put on a rubber
Darling I love you - I'm feeling quite confused
Darling I love you - I need to be alone
Darling I love you - I've just broken up with an Italian
stallion after three years
Darling I love you - I don't want no spaghetti
Darling I love you .....
hahahaha DO IT BETTER! DO IT BETTER!
I'm staying home - You oppress me
I'm going out - This house is not a hotel
I'll rub your belly with a cube of ice dipped in Cointreau,
then I'll blindfold you and screw you.
I'm not a whore!
Ok then in the missionary position me on top
and you below
How boring!
hahahaha
I am the Italian stallion - I want to be kissed
I am the French stallion - Let's go to the southern
pacific and have an anal explosion
Ok booom hahaha mani pulite
Darling I love you - I'm feeling quite confused
Darling I love you - I need to be loved
Darling I love you - I've just broken up with a guy after
three years
Darling I love - I don't want to eat spaghetti anymore
Darling I love you Io ho 23 anni
And now let's unite our bodies in the supreme ecstasy
of love's perfection
Oh no - why ? - because when I was thirteen years old
my cousin showed me his thing and it has traumatized
me ever since, nevertheless we can cuddle in bed all
night without doing anything
and it'll be beautiful all the same.
I'll stick it up your ass - Yes, OK, do it now, don't wait
Would you go out with me tomorrow night ?
Eh I'm a little tired and I think
I might have another date
That's OK I can always hang out with my friends
I am free tonight
Let's talk about sex - I have a need for affection
Let's talk about affection - Let's screw
I am the way I am - I wish you'd try to change
There you go I've changed -
You're not the same as you used to be
You're my possession -
The uterus is mine hahahaha cappuccino
Here's the money for that new fur coat - Here's my
uterus hahahaha pizza pie mozzarella
when the moon hits the sky
And so "That's Amore" signorina Io ho 23 ann
(inizio intermezzo)
improbabile intervistatore: How do you explain this phenomenon of the farting **? What
explanation do you have for that?
E: Hhhmm... I think, mamma mia, it'very difficult... I think there is a very obscure and
clever plan behind it.
T: Yes. Probably somebody wants the people all over the world think bad about the italian
people...
E: Yeah...
T: ...but they can't... because you know the italian habits, and italian people, when they
fart, it means appreciation.
E: And a very sad thing is somebody's telling in Italy that the responsible of all this is
the Pope. In Italy everything bad happens it's the Pope's fault.
(**=scoreggiare)
p.s. Tanica pronuncia "pìpel" la parola people
(fine intermezzo)
HOMOSEXUALITY (OMOSESSUALITA')
Un............Un............Unlimited penetration
And feeling like a girl
In the body of a man
Homosexuality.........Homosexuality
French kissing with other men
Working as a male whore (ho)
Homosexuality.........
I'm not a psycho, I am just like you
I'm a woman, I'm a man
I am what I am
What'cha gonna do, what'cha gonna do
Homosexuality........ what'cha gonna do ?
Homosexuality........ what'cha gonna do ?
Homosexuality........ what'cha gonna do ?
Krapach...
Homosexuality...There's nothing you can do (about it)!!
Homosexuality...There's nothing you can do (about it)!!
Homosexuality...There's nothing you can do (about it)!!
Vacations in Turkey, vacations in Marocco
Holidays in Greece.......Homosexuality
Getting married and bringing kids into the world
but still being a homosexual........Homosexuality
I live just like you
I hurt just like you
I laugh just like you
I take it up the ass like you
But I give more love than you
Homosexuality......
Homosexuality: what'cha gonna do ????
PUPPET ON A SWING (BURATTINO SENZA FICHI)
I'm a famous wooden puppet,
and I never ever tell the truth
I'm a puppet with no pecker,
but Geppetto cut me loose
It's not much fun when you are a eunuch
I would love to have a big stick
Here's my daddy while he's making it.......
I'm a proud and happy puppet
With my new and shiny piece of wood
I'm the new Italian Stallion,
coz my Dad he made it good
If my angel wasn't such an angel
I feel a force inside of me, and it's not easy
and a kind of milkshake comes right out
Hey hey ma ma,
Splintering, I feel I'm splintering
If Lucignolo could see me,
I'd have a hard-on for sure
Splintering, like no-one's ever seen
uollano uollano uollano
That's my cum and I'm Italiano.....
Never Never Land is where I,
Feel like acting like I'm a playboy
I've been living in a big whale,
I'll invite you, don't be coy
Fire-eater, you don't want to meet her
Fox and kitty, I will beat yer
Up my ass with Jiminy Cricket
The more I think about it, and the more that I am
Splintering, people I'm splintering
If Lucignolo could see me
With the expression I'm wearing
I can cum, thanks to my brand new chum
uollano uollano uollano
That's my cum and I'm Italiano
Meantime down in the disco - dong
Splintering, on the dance floor splintering
I am the King of the Neighbourhood
Of pussies made out of pine wood
They all plot, they like to fuck a lot
they dance on, they dance on, they dance on
On the cum and I'm Italiano - Ué Ué Ué....
JOHN HOLMES
When I was just a boy
everyone made fun of me
just because my penis was enormous
my mom said it was gorgeus
I work in a circus
because of my penis
and everybody says no problem
because my penis makes my living
now I've become a famous actor
and even though I'm just a slave to love
I bought myself a rasta Harley
now I'm a slave to my new Harley
I got it from Bob Marley
it's rasta 'cause it was Bob Marley's
sometimes I reggae with Ziggy Marley
I will relaunch the silent movie
because Bob told me that it's groovy
and if you see the footy jumps... (non si capisce una sega)
John Holmes, life devoted to the cinema
John Holmes, life devoted to a Harley (x2)
Twelve inches, he's one foot of artistic reality
that is what attracted all the critics
not my acting ability
because they simply don't get it
I don't speak 'cause I eat spaghetti
and so my face is normally off-screen
all of the people still come to adore me
and now they've made me into a big star
I relaunched the silent movie
because I am silent
and even if I had been born dumb
I'd have relaunched the dumb movie
and if I had been born XXX
I'd have relaunched the XXX movie
I am your fire and your Venus
because I'm acting with my penis
and so my penis makes my living
my penis is very forgiving
all my Harley don't forgive me
and I'm asking for forgiveness
yes yes my Harley don't forgive me
and I'm asking for forgiveness
Ok, come on....
John Holmes, life devoted to the cinema
John Holmes, life devoted to a Harley (x2)
Che bello... il cazzo... sborare... minchia...
PUNIEST OF SLAVES (SERVI DELLA GLEBA)
*Tell us how'd it go with your new girl-friend?
°Pretty well, I'd say
*Did you dunk your cookie,
Or at least d'ya get to kiss her?
°No, my friends, and I'm not joking
She is not like all the others
*Bl b b bl tell us that she's like
°Ah, listen, this girl is really a lot of fun,
She's really happening,
She told me some really funny stories
About her summer vacation,
Like the one where she took
A bunch of sun-block with her,
Then she ended up doing a lot of sunbathing
And got bur...
*Did you show the girl your little fella?
°No, but I've got a pretty good chance...
*Shall we get together then this evening?
We'll have a night among friends,
Play some music, smoke some joints...
°Ah my friends, tonight I am afraid I can't make it.
Tonight she's invited me over to her place
To see the slides
She took on vacation, then right after
That I've got to give her folks
Aride to the train station their car broke down, The engine blew up,
Actually it was my car but...
We are all the puniest of slaves
And we've all got a song inside our hearts
That's so sad
Puniest of slaves with heads held high
The triangle with love's as sweet as pie
No more smoking grass and no injections
All we ever get is more rejections
Puniest of slaves stuck in a room
Doped up to the eyeballs by some woman
We are like symbolical Big Jims
You push the botton and we move our limbs...
*Fellas come and see who's just turned up
°Hiya guys...
*Your face is like wood,
What the heck have you benn up to?
°Well no, not much,
I've been studying hard and I've also been sick lately
*Tell us what was wrong with your exactly
°Well the doctor said my taste pupils were blocked,
Also uh, my elbow is getting electric shocks from my foot,
Then yesterday my dad got stuck in the car-wash...
No, no the truth is I've been having
A hard time with that girl...
*Aaah, so she gave you the deuce of spades, eh?
°But no, what are you saying?
She really likes me a lot
It's only that
She had some problems
With her boy-friend that
Make her a little unhappy
Since I care about her more than for myself
I had a long talk with the guy
And I talked him into going back with her...
*Don't tell us you're really crying!!!
°No I just got...a piece of pizza in my eye
Eyes of stone, your face set like cement
She's my pigeon and I am her monument
Puniest of slaves you're going flat out
Full of propane gas and pent up sperm
Heart in flames and face-musk made of eyes
We're all charged up by our unused love juice
Puniest of slaves you're planetary
Inprisoned by a gland that's called mammary
We are like symbolical Big Jims
Push the button and we move our limbs
Greetings!... young girl drawing graffiti on the subway
walls. I thought I'd offer you a sip of Zabov but...what am
I reading? Would you prefer some Vov? You know, the
writing you wrote, you know, I like it a lot.
You know, that little body of yours that was looking at me,
attracted my big body towards you, you, the one who
writes millions of graffiti on walls like A., T.A., T.V.U.M.D.B.
You are so attractive, you, the one who dreams about the
cute and chubby one in Take That, you're having your first
experiences with your Lady-Gillette shaver, that auto-
eroticism which revolves around the shower-head. And
all at once, the chorus:
A., T.A., T.V.U.M.D.B. by Elio And The Uptight Stories.
Oh, A., T.A., T.V.U.M.D.B.: we, the children of the absolute.
Eh, you know, I like you more than ever, and because of
this I really love you.
But I don't know if later I'll be able tu put up with it when
loving each other becomes routine,
and then there'll be a divorce,
and the children will be unhappy.......
No. I'll go on dreaming about the cute and chubby one in
Take That
Who - don't say it - is missing - you can't - two holes in
his backside - it's not true and you know it - for him to be
the Top Cute and Chubby Guy, and then to go and live in
France.
A., T.A., T.V.U.M.D.B. by Elio And The Uptight Stories.
Oh, A., T.A., T.V.U.M.D.B., we, two hearts and one big
marking pen (only it writes in white ink).
Just like Earth, Wind and Fire.
Look at how the big pen writes - the big pen -,
Do you feel how the hot peppers scream: pam.
Taste how "al dente" the maccaroni is.
Smell that Japanese fake guru's Serin nerve gas......
(Translator's note:- It is possible to interpret "T.V.U.M.D.B."
as an abbreviation for: "Ti Voglio Un Mondo Di Bene", which
translates literally as "I Love You A World Of Good", which
in turn means, of course, "I Really Love You A Lot").
THE STATE OF A, THE STATE OF B (LO STATO A, LO STATO B)
The State of A (simimimi mimi simi hit monacom),
The State of B (simimimi mimi semi so schiandon).
The State of A (simimimi mimi simi hit monacom),
The State of B (simimimi mimi semi so schiandon).
The State of A is what you get when you go to bed with
the partner that you want to make love to. The State
of B is what you get when afterwards you regret your
error: terror. You shouldn't have done it. You, an
innocent victim of the devastating effects of orgasm,
you know that if it's not real love, after the seed you
run away. It's not real love, regret it and escape - Away,
away, away, away, away, away, away, away, regret it,
regret it, regret it, regret it, regret it, regret it, regret it,
regret it, damnay, damnay, damnay, damnay, damnation.
The State of A (simimimi mimi simi hit monacom),
The State of B (simimimi mimi semi so schiandon).
The State of A (simimimi mimi simi hit monacom),
The State of B (simimimi mimi semi so schiandon).
The State of A is what you get when there's a really
cute guy that you want to seduce. The State of B is
what you get when the boy really is cute, it's just that
he's also much too quick: maybe even gay.
You, an innocent victim of the problems of a boy who's
just too cute, you know that if it's not real love,
without the seed you run away.
Gosh darn it gosh darn it gosh darn it gosh darn it,
dang and blast it dang and blast it dang and blast it
dang and blast it, zigo zago zigo zago zigo zago zigo
zigo zago. Go to hell go to hell go to hell go to hell, ah
if I catch you ah if I catch you ah if I catch you ah if I
catch you.
You call it love but it's only The State of A, a container
of illusory problems. You want love and all you find is
The State of B. You wake up in strangers' beds thanks
to the Italian language; bring me roses, leave it be,
anyway we're always in The State of B. You,
an innocent victim of the clash between spunk and
sanity, morality and a big but ugly love, morality and
immorality, justice and injustice, attraction and repulsion,
the impulse and the pulsion.
If it's not real love after the seed you run away.
Mio c-u-g-g-i-n-o (my cousin)
Mio c-u-g-g-i-n-o (my cousin)
My cousin told me about the time
that he had a real bad crash on his motorbike
My cousin......My cousin
Then my cousin said that when he took off
his crash helmet his head split in two
My cousin......My cousin
My cousin took off his helmet
My cousin's head plit in two
My cousin told me about the time
he found a dog on the beach
but it turned out to be a mouse
(I just can't believe it....
My cousin told me that too)!!
My cousin......My cousin
My cousin told me about the time
he slept with a girl who left him
a message on the mirror which said
"Welcome to AIDS"
(the same the same the same the same)!!
My cousin......My cousin
My cousin mouse and doggie
My cousin welcome to AIDS
My cousin......My cousin
And my cousin's well-respected
A friend of everybody's
My cousin's done this and that
And my cousin is my protector
When the others come to hit me
'cause I call on my cousin
I mean - I call out for my cousin
My cousin told me about the time
he met a girl who went around with no bra on
Stighidin, stighidin, stish stidun aaah
My cousin......My cousin
My cousin told me about the time
he met a chick in a discoteque
who didn't remember anything and in the
end she woke up in a ditch
and she was all wet and she realized
there was something missing
and it was one of her kidneys
My cousin......My cousin
My cousin told me that he knows a karate chop
and if he hits you with it after three days you die
My cousin......My cousin
My cousin told me that when he was a kid,
he once died
My cousin......My cousin
And my cousin's a popular person
A friend of everybody's
My cousin's done this and that
And my cousin's my protector
When the others come to hit me
Because I call on my cousin
Actually, you know what I'm gonna tell you
I call out for my cousin
My cousin......My cousin
My cousin's really quite worrying
And he talks in burps
Ciao how's it goin'?
My cousin's done this and that
The car he crashed, the ass he kicked
My cousin is really bad
But it's a product of the mind
I mean, he produced a batch of mint
But he was not authorized
So they put him into prison
Uuuuehhh'
Yes OK to Free Mandela
Free Valpreda and all the others
But Free also My cousin
I mean - set free also my cousin
Na na nai, my cousin na na nai
I just can't believe it:
I heard the same story, exactly the same one!
Could it be that we're related?
What's your surname, anyway?
Sorry, to see if it's the same person we're talking about
Let me ask: - Your cousin, when he had haemorrhoids,
did the cork also pop out and injure the nurse,
like it did with my cousin?
I know that nurse, by the way,
because she treated me once when I was small.
They shot me, I didn't die, but the bullets hit the spider
that at that very minute was coming out
of the Tree of Happiness.
So what did I do? With my white crocodile friend who
lives in the sewers of New York,
we went to the emergency room to
visit some friends who were having things removed
from them, things like oranges, bottles, door knobs,
door, dogs, dicks....
When at a certain point, who did I see?
I just couldn't believe it!!!
It was the emergency room plastic surgeon
that I liked the best;
what a day.......WHAT A DAY!!!!!!
(Translator's note: Valpreda was an infamous Italian terrorist in the
seventies).
(Nubes de Ayer sobre nuestra manana de hoy)
Yo soy rutinario, leo la tarjeta sobre el ascensor,
la capacidad cuantas kilos lleva,
después se abre la puerta y ya no lo se màs.
Yo soy rutinario, y si me sono las narices tengo que
revisar lo que he producido, cuantos kilos pesa y si hay
peligro por el ascensor.
Sentado en la banera hago ciertas burbujas,
que subiendo a flote, corren en mi lomo haciendome
feliz; pero en superficie no me gustan màs.
Yo soy rutinario, vos no me juzgais, vos sois como yo...
Y ahora un estribillo que no tiene un cono que ver,
pero que gusta a los jòvenes: digamme porqué
si la vaca hace mu la merlo no hace me.
Nuestra vida es una charada, a principio parece xxyx y
en cambio es zxxyx.
Digamme porqhé, hay un dirigible marròn
sin hélice y timon en mi, porqhé?
Cuando tengo una muchacha yo pruevo mi aliento que
no sea pesado, me quedo en el bano, pienso que se
coje, después no se coje y no me lavo màs.
Busco entre mis narices una atestaciòn de mis raices,
pero encuentro un fico y tendré que tenderlo debajo de
algùn banco, come en juventud.
Estas son mis costumbres, yo vendo alumbres,
vos sois como yo...
Y entoces otro estribillo que no tiene un cono que
ver, pero (que) gusta a los jòvenes: digamme porqué,
si la vaca hace mu la merlo no hace me.
Hi, we are Wayne Jackson and Andrew Love...
Digamme porqhé, hay un dirigible marròn
sin hélice y timon en mi, porqhé?
Llegado al final del dìa busco entre mis mantas un
poco de esperanza, peo en abundancia, me llamo
Guillermo, alegre me duermo ebrio de mis gases.
(Yesterday's Clouds Over Our Daily Tomorrow)
I'm a man of habit, I always read the little elevator
signs:how many people it holds, and how many kilos,
then the elevator doors open and I've already forgotten
what the sign says. I'm a man of habit, and if I blow
my nose I have to check what's come out, how many
kilos it weighs and if it might be dangerous for the
elevator.
Sitting in the bath I emit certain bubbles which run up
my back while rising to the surface, making me happy,
once they reach the surface I don't like them anymore.
I'm a man of habit, don't be too quick to judge me,
you're just like me. And now for another happy little
chorus that has sweet fuck all to do with anything, but
which young people enjoy: tell me why, if a moo-cow
goes moo, why doesn't a nightingale go nigh? Our
lives are a charade, at first everything seems to be
xxxxxyx, but then it turns out to be zxxyxz. Tell me
why there's a brown hot-air balloon without a propeller
or a rudder inside of me.
When I've got a date with a girl I always cup my hand
over my mouth and smell my breath, I stay in the bath
for about twenty years, I think I'm going to get laid,
then I don't get laid and I don't wash anymore. I search
my nostrils for some evidence of my roots, but all I
find's a fig and I'll have to wipe it off under a chair or
something, just like when I was a child. These are the
things I do, I sell lampshades too, you are just like
me....And now another little chorus that's got fuck all
to do with anything but which young people enjoy:
tell me why, if a moo-cow goes moo, why doesn't
a nightingale go nigh? Hi, we are Wayne Jackson
and Andrew Love, the Memphis Horns. Hi, I am
the Rararors. Big trouble. Thank you. Tell me why
there's a brown hot-air balloon without a propeller
or a rudder inside of me. Having reached the end
of the day, I look under the blankets in search of
hope, I am abundantly flatulent, I'm no longer
frightened, I drift off happily to sleep, intoxicated
by my own fumes.
The Pube is a traveling salesman
Who drives a small airplane
When he lands he is happy
When he flies he's a real good pilot
The Pueblo first sees him when he's in the distance
Rumor has it - or so they say - the Pube is losing
altitude
He comes straight down nose first
In his stupendous airplane
His heart beats fast as he crashes into the ground
He hurts the Pueblo with his mediocre airplane
The Pueblo takes him right out
Of his piss awful airplane
And they take him in triumph to the plaza
Ay ay ay, the Pube he has landed
"I sense a lack of love here
What you need is this product"
What the hell? Have you maybe got a sixth sense?
"I'll show you something that's good
For the needs of every couple"
The plaza accepts him, in a simple way
In the meantime the Pube takes out
His world-famous anal lube
He strips off his wife, and squeezes her slowly
And the "ointment" is soothing for
The friction from his karoly
The Pueblo's happy and wants some of the same
And they all buy the special anal cream
The wife starts thinking
"Well this Pueblo's not bad"- commercial miracle
All inside of the wife
And she gives out official receipts!!
Ay ay ay, millionaire is the Pube
In the plaza he sells
The honor of his by now greasy wife
Over and over the wife orgasms
At first he is quite concerned
When the Pueblo orgasms as well
The Pueblo e-ja-cu-lates.......
The Pube has sold off almost all his ointment
But his wife just does not want him anymore
This is the story of the traveling salesman who gave up
His morals just to sell his lube
And he ended up losing his wedding ring
Ay ay ay, solitary's the Pube
One more unhappy ending, in the life of a couple
How d'you feel? "Just a little upset,
But it's always lovely to watch
Your own wife when she orgasms...
It's really lovely to watch
Your own wife when she orgasms...
It's always lovely to watch
Your own wife when she strips off
But in the end all that's left is her bathrobe,
her bathrobe
It's a bit stained, it is true
But it is still her bathrobe.
Her bathrobe.
THE LAND OF THE DATE PLUMS (LA TERRA DEI CACHI)
Illegal parking, illegal applause, illegal little houses,
illegal sexual abuses; a strong desire to start over, which
is illegal too. Fake government contracts, fake organ
transplants, fake mopeds with drive-by thieves who
steal handbags from fake ladies, the beautician of the
stars is really really fake. Poppies and popes,
La donna cannolo, Una lacrima sul visto (translator's
note: - "La donna cannone" and "Una lacrima sul viso"
are both famous songs from past San Remo festivals).
Italia yes, Italia no......Italia yes, Italia no, Italia boom,
the bomb-blast disaster that goes unpunished. You can
say yes, you can say no, but anyway that's life. Let's
fix some coffee, we won't go out to a café; there are
some gangs who are waiting to kill us a little bit.
Gangs yes, gangs no, the gangs are full of murderers.
Gangs pam, gangs prapapapam, but if there's a soccer
game on the gangs are not here, they all go to the
soccer stadium, waving their big banners, there'll be
no more blood spilled. Infected yes? Infected no
Tons and tons of plasma. Chief surgeon yes, chief
surgeon no, the chief surgeon's ghost. There's no
way I'll be a ghost, and to your plasma I say no; if you
forget to take out the surgical tongs, whistling I'll say
to you:
"fi fi fi fi fi fi fi fi, I owe you some tongs, fi fi fi fi fi fi fi
fi, I've got them in my belly". Long live the melting-pot
of tongs, long live the melting pot of bellies. Look how
many unsolved problems we have, but we have a heart
as big as a house. Italia yes, Italia no, Italia gnamme,
let's make some spaghetti. Italia tob, Italia crot,
the land of the date plums. A pizza eaten alone, a pizza
eaten with some friends, a total of two pizzas and this
is what Italia's all about, fulafifi, fulafifi, long live Italia.
Squerellerellesh, cataraparupai, Italia is perfect.
Perepepe nainainainai.
A pizza eaten alone, a pizza eaten with some friends, a
total of lots of bribery and corruption but Italia doesn't
want to play along. Italia yes, Italia no, scurcurrillo
currillo. Italia yes: ué, Italia no, spereffere fellecche. Ué,
ué, ué, ué, ué....
Because the land of the date plums
is the land of the date plums!!
[si ringrazia il Culto del Monociglione per la trascrizione di tutte le canzoni e il Conte Mascetti e Churra per la trascrizione di "John Holmes" e degli intermezzi spassosi.]
Nota: questo album non e' in vendita in Italia. E' stato pubblicato negli USA per promuovere la tourne' americana del gennaio '98 oltreoceano.
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